Stressed Out.. WARNING... VERY DARK POST...

Been a long time since I've last blogged. A lot of things have happened then, mainly the events for the student week. Am glad it's over, at least. Now can just get back to 'normal' for a couple of weeks. Been very stretched and stressed. Not easy, to say the least, being in my position. Lots of people hounding you, demanding your attention. Also have to do planning, and make decisions, beside the usual duties I have in the club, school, church and cell. Sigh. Hardly had time to catch my breath and do the things I really want to do to relax. Can say that I've been doing things without any joy at all in the last few weeks.



Ranting post? Yeah, from the looks of it. Gonna be something very dark, at least.. Don't continue reading if you don't wish to be stumbled...









Depressed? Not really. But more of this s*** and I will be. Hate it when I'm this stressed out. I'm fine if it's just one day or two of feeling stressed out.. But weeks??? Makes me very irritable far too easily. Which makes me snap at people, regardless of who they are.

My dad felt that recently when he commented about me carrying my guitar around. He's been putting me down about it for the last 2 years, ever since I got my hardcase with my maestro. And I hate it. Makes me discouraged about my ability to play guitar, about my involvement in the club. Felt so pissed there and then that I almost wanted to open my case and break my guitar into two right there in front of him. That's how fed up I was. All I said was I'll throw my guitar away, if that's what he wants... And we were outside after celebrating my mum's birthday. Just walked off after that. Sigh.... Really need to control my temper more. That and my stubbornness. Can't believe my parents just can't seem to tell when I need to be left alone. My mum, maybe, after arguments with her years back. She and I are more or less the same temperament. My dad on the other hand... I really don't know... And I really don't want to know what I'm capable of when I'm driven into a corner. It's a scary thought. At the very least, I'll hurt the people around me. That much I know. What comes after is anyone's guess. I'll become someone you won't know. Or want to know. And I'm not joking here... You can say that this is one of the factors that has made me very mad and moody now. Other factors, it's due to the events of the past few weeks...

So do me a favour... If you really consider yourself to be my friend... Don't piss me off. Not until I've sorted through this period of time. If you feel that, after reading this, I'm no longer someone you would consider to be a friend, I won't blame you. And if you think that you need to knock some sense into me the hard way, think again. Most probably I'll only resent you. I know this is not a typical post you'd expect from someone like me.. There are always two sides to a coin. Which side of me do you think you know?