Seeking God's Will

Been a crazy day at work. Suddenly I find myself swamped with projects, about 5-6 of them, part of the 9 project package to be delivered later in the morning to HDB's procurement office. Think there are some more work to be done before the delivery. Ouch. Have not been like this before. The max I've delivered was like 6, with me processing about half. But Noelle's record was 20. -_-" Have not idea how she handled that. Noelle, btw, is my "boss", or rather my colleague as she puts it though she's the one supervising me. Rather nice lady, though if you touch any of her piglet plushies on her table you are only asking for trouble. And something she mentioned to me struck me. I've been making many minor mistakes in my work lately, and she sensed that I was tired. Which was true. 4-5 hours of sleep everyday is certainly not very healthy. I'm still pushing for club matters. But at least I've found 2 more members willing (?) to take up exco positions. Still have not decided on each person's role; kinda hard with 2 of them currently overseas, one of which is back at her hometown with no Internet connection. Sigh.

Was kinda troubled by some issues in my life recently. Well, you know me, I'm a worry wort. But somehow I felt better just before lunch earlier. Felt the peace and joy of God flow into my heart, and a fountain of joy was established. Felt a sense of confirmation regarding a matter as well, but still want to test it out. And I know that now is not really the right time as yet. Still have to seek His Will and draw closer to Him first. For I know that He'll bring things together in my life at the right time. Have to have faith in God, just as Abraham, Joshua and many many others did. With faith, comes obedience. To quote Charles Haddon Spurgeon, "Faith and obedience are bound up in the same bundle; he that obeys God trusts God; and he that trusts God obeys God. He that is without faith is without works, and he that is without works is without faith." Will need to hold on to Him, and mediate on His Word to find His Will for my life. His Will, and not mine, be done.

"Do not confirm any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is - his good, pleasing and perfect will." Romans 12:2

Triple Nine

Together with 995, these were the among the numbers I dialed on my handphone today. Was walking to the bus stop to head to church, when I heard a loud sound behind me. Turning back, was surprised to see something lying at the entrance of the multi storey carpark next to my block. So ran back and saw that it's a girl lying there with blood coming coming out of her mouth and nose. Got rooted to the spot, and didn't know what else to do but to call the police. A passer by also told me to call for an ambulance, as it might still be possible to save her. But she's pronounced dead on the spot when the paramedics arrived. All the while, the rain was drizzling down to wash the body and blood pool. Police arrived a short while after that and took down my particulars and contact, so that I can be reached if necessary. It's kinda sad, to see a young life gone just like this. I suspect she jumped off the roof of the carpark, as where she landed was like 5 feet from the entrance. Either this, or she was pushed, which seem unlikely, as she would have landed right at the entrance, instead of a bit of a distance away.

Still, was a bit traumatised by the sight of the dead body and the blood pool. Nothing else I could do but head to church. Read God's Word on the way there, but the incident was still on my mind when I reached. It's only after I talked to Nehemiah that I felt better. Shared some of his experience with me, and assured me that there was nothing more I could have done to help. Also, there's no point dwelling on it, as it'll only be a burden in the future. As he talked, I felt that he's right. I have to commit it to God and let Him take care of it for me, that I should cast every care into His hands and move on with the confidence that He is leading me.

Life is fragile, and my almost immediate thoughts after the incident were the loved ones around me, as well as the person I care about and am fond of. Just had a dream of her last night, where I shyly took her hand and laced the fingers. Not sure if it's a dream to become a reality in the future, but I know that I have to pray about it, and follow God's Will for my life.

My dream of getting a taylor took a leap forward. Now have about half of the amount I need, thanks to some blessings from my dad. Still, I don't want to splurge everything on a guitar; still want some amount to remain behind in my bank account. Just hope to be able to get it in the next few months. Now have to consider Joshua's taylor as well, as he's looking to sell it. An older guitar from the late 90's that has a warm sound from a cedar top and indian rosewood back and sides. Hmm tough decisions to make. Still feel like going back to Sinamex to "molest" every taylor on display when their new shipment comes in in August. The GS8 (stika spruce and indian rosewood) I played on thursday sounded sweet and heavenly though. Can't wait for the GS6 (stika spruce and maple) to come so that I can play it.

"He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty. I will say of the LORD, 'He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust.'" Psalm 91:1-2

Back from Reservist

I'm back. Felt like ages since I last blogged. Wanted to the last few nights, but was simply exhausted. Need more sleep, I guess. 5 hours on average every night is scarcely enough. Thank God for His strength to last me through the days when at work.

Kept a journal of sorts when I was away. Only managed to gather my thoughts and finish it over the last weekend or so. Basically, a lot of time was spent waiting for things to happen. Slept a lot when outfield, though often in uncomfortable positions. Journal entries are in italics.

10/07/07
Guess it's time to start on the annual ICT journal. Been a while since I wrote a daily collection of events (other than in my blog), so I better start now before I lose my memory of the days spent in Tanjong Gul.

Day one
Almost couldn't wake up in the morning. A 4.30am wake up call is almost too much, bu didn't really have a choice. Book-in timing was supposed to be 7am, so I arranged to meet Gary at 5.30 at Hougang mrt. Dad gave me a ride down, and it's very early for him as well, as he normally only leaves for work at 6am. Ride down to Boon Lay was uneventful, except it's packed full. Found that Benny was on the same train, so I headed over to his carriage to look for him while Gary stayed behind; there's no way we can navigate through the crowd with all our stuff.

Met Yuhui, Keith, and Wan Yen at the station, then went to look for cabs. Took a while before we got one to bring us to camp; many just passed us by. So in went Gary, Yuhui and I. Took a while to get to camp as well, since it's somewhere in Tuas, near the naval base. Heard it's gonna be at Jurong camp next year though, a small blessing as it's more convenient.

In-processing was a drag. Had to go for a haircut as apparently the hair at the back of my head didn't meet the requirement. Shelled out 5 bucks on top of the 25 I spent a few weeks back to cut my hair. Ah well. Nothing else I can say about the matter. Had to kiwi my boots also before I was finally allowed to process my check-in into camp. Drew my rifle and law tube and headed up to the bunk.

Nothing much else in the day, except the handing of the commanding officer ceremony, and his subsequent speech. Went through a refresher course for my law tube before resting for the rest of the day.

Had to get some stuff from emart though; needed a pair of shorts, as all I had were running shorts which are not really convenient to sleep in. A new notebook and some white socks make up the rest of the shopping list. Only managed to get ahold of the latter; the rest forgot to get or were sold out. Guess I'll have to drop by another day.

Day 2
Woke up at 5.30am for breakfast and IPPT. But felt sick; cold was still lingering from last week, and a cough developed overnight. Not to mention I felt weak all over. Saw the doc who gave me 2 days of light duties and some medication. No cough mixture though, which I thought strange. Headed back & was told to prepare for the law test and grenade throwing test after lunch. Didn't really do much for the law test, just go through the drills from yesterday. Sat out the grenade throwing test, which took up the rest of the afternoon. After dinner, was told we have night's off, which is kinda surprising. Not much time off though, around 4 hours after my shower. Gary and I met a guy outside camp who booked a cab, so we offered to share with him to Jurong Point.

Comics connection was the first place we went to when we got there. Gary browsed around and I chanced upon the latest volume of "Suzuka", so I bought it. Bit of mistake though; very expensive at Comics Connection. About $8++! Remind me to boycott CC from now on and stick to Tenchi where it's cheaper. Bought some subway for friends and ourselves and decided to head back to camp, as there's nothing much to browse at JP. Didn't really do much else for the rest of the evening, just prepare my stuff for outfield the next day. A 4.30 wakeup timing was given, so we all headed early to bed.

Day 3 and 4
Outfield was nothing much; a lot of time was spent waiting for things to take place, as usual. Sat out the platoon battle course, as I'm still on medical status, but went along for the company mission exercise. Which included harbouring in the forest for like 9 hours doing nothing, again, till like 3.30am when we started moving towards our objective for our dawn attack. And getting lost along the way as usual, due to overlooked and hard to find recee markings. Sigh, always bound to happen. So far, have not encountered a time when I had a march that had a straightforward route to the objective without getting lost.

To cut a long story short, got to the objective and attacked and waited for things to start moving again. Somehow, I managed to not fire any blanks at all, thank God as it means virtually no cleaning of the inside when we get back to camp.

Got to see the beautiful surrounding hillside once my section cleared the area we were assigned. Nice scenary with morning mist and fog in a valley of sorts. Reminds me of the scene in Taiwan where clouds were moving along in a valley. Time now was like 7+ in the morning, and yet it felt like 10+. Maybe cos we all woke up so early. Went to dig my "coffin" (shell scrape) afterwards; a place for my field pack and sand bags and needs to be long enough for me to prone insie. Which I did when the trainer came around to inspect our work. Seems like mine was a tad shorter than expected, as I just estimated my body length when digging. Don't really like to dig; one of the aspects of my vocation I really dislike. But thank God the weather's not too bad, though it's rather hot and humid, out here in the forest. Not to mention my section's deployed on a steep slope, so moving around is a bit tricky. Almost twisted my ankle on a couple of occasions while trying to get around.

Route march came next. And mercifully, the distance was cut short, maybe cos of exhaustion felt by everyone and the late hour. Not easy to get 500+ people to move a long distance. Will need a lot of time and coordination. Headed back to camp where I had a late dinner and did some cleaning of my rifle and wash up (finally!). Powder bathing in the forest can only keep me clean somewhat. Sweat and powder don't really mix well.

Day 5
Finally it's outpro day. Woke up at about 7 for breakfast, then did some packing and attend a closing speech by the CO and attend to some other misc issues. Managed to get my shorts form emart, thank God. Had borrowed a pair from Benjamin for the last few days to wear.

Dialling for a cab at 4+ is a drag. Phone lines were busy and we were put on hold. My outpro counter also had some problems with their system, so had to wait quite a bit while other counters seem to proceed smoothly. Really testing my patience; I just wanna go home... Finally managed to get one after half an hour and shared with some friends to head northeast. Back home, unpacked, showered and went out to Ang Mo Kio. Needed a new supply of contact lenses, and wanted to catch a movie. Decided on Harry Potter over Transformers, which I hope to catch soon, as it fitted my timing better. New cinema at Ang Mo Kio hub weren't too bad. Toilets on the other hand really put me off. For a relatively new place, they are always wet and dirty and have an unpleasant odour. Sigh. Headache came back again, which almost caused me to puke out my dinner while eating at Sumo House. Bottled water from NTUC + emergency supply of panadol from my bag cured my headache somewhat. Think I'll have to avoid staying out in the sun for now; it's like the 2nd or 3rd headache so far in 2 weeks. Keep me in prayer, my dear reader. Will need lots of it. Gout's twitching somewhat as well, guess it's time to re-start on my medication soon.


I know it's kinda long and all, this post. Been a while since I posted anything this long. Nothing much happened after friday. Xinyi's com gave some hiccups again, so I spent saturday afternoon clearing dust from her cpu's heat sink. Met her and Hui Qin and Colin on wednesday as well to celebrate Hui Qin's birthday. Went to Coffee Club at Taka for dinner and headed down to the fountain at the plaza to cut the cake I bought. Just a quiet evening. Xinyi was pretty tired from all her work, so we didn't hang around till late; left for the mrt after kino closed. But pretty amazing that both girls can still browse through shops on the way to the trains, despite exhaustion. Could only stand around and help them with their stuff while they looked at clothes. Colin left a bit earlier as he was feeling tired.

Easing back to work this past week. Think I'm getting the hang of it already. Just hope to do well at work and save up for my Taylor. Went down to Sinamex to try their guitars and only found the GS8, and not the GS6 which I'm targetting. Very sweet tone though, but want to try the stika spruce and maple combination to see and hear the difference. One piece will only arrive in the 3rd week of August, so I guess I'll have to wait. Praying for more blessings so that I can afford this baby. And in turn, bless others with better worship music (at least tonally).

Can't believe time just flew by when typing this out. Almost 2am now, and I need to wake up at 6.30. Good night, dear reader. Sleep tight.

"Remember this: Whoever sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and whoever sows generously will also reap generously. Each man should give what he has decided in his heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver. And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work." 2 Corinthians 9:6-8

Tanjong Gul bound

Ok, for those who don't know, I'm headed into some remote area of the island for 5 days of free food, lodging, sun, mud, and mosquitoes. Time to fulfill my duty to the nation and serve out these 5 days of in-camp training. Hope I won't get dengue. Cases on the rise recently. Hope to come back in one piece as well. Kinda unfit of late; have not really gone running as I should as I got sick the last few days. Kinda having a headache now, which has been lingering since the afternoon. And I wonder how I went through the tournament earlier. Ah well. Got a bit of extra cash now. Should come in handy in the next week.

For those who are reading this, keep me in prayer for the next week? Will appreciate it. Give me a buzz or sms at night if you need some company over the telephone. It can get get kinda boring inside, especially at night. I'm bringing in a couple of books and my bibles, but then I have a hunch the books will be finished really quickly. Guess I'll end here.

Oyasuminasai.

"Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom, and as you sing psalms, hymns and spiritual songs with gratitude in your hearts to God." Colossians 3:16

He Cares

Just got to know this song last weekend during the worship service. Quite nice, and I love it. It's kinda touching, and it's such a simple song. Rather old though, according to Joyce when I asked if she has the song. Ah well. Actually thought of using it for worship leading this week if there's cell, but I can't seem to reach the key, even though it's in G. Other keys don't really appeal to me now cos they involve barre chords. Usually not a problem, but recently, I had to cut the nails on my right hand due to a chipped nail. Not to mention I cut away all the callouses on my left hand's fingertips. So it's like playing the guitar for the first time all over again. Ouch. Guess I'll have to play more to help speed up the growth of new skin :p

Wrote something "early" last night after watching A Good Shepherd. Nothing related at all to God, it's the title of a movie about the birth of the CIA. Usually I'm intrigued by such a movie. But somehow I got put off after watching the show. It really shows the dark side of men, what they'll do in their quest for power and more power. And one character in the show seem to put it aptly, when she mentioned "Men first, God second." I guess I'll stick to Spy Game. At least it's not as dark. But anyway, by the time I finished watching, it's already 2+am. I continued to stay up, pondering about something and got inspired to write a poem. Something that I've intended to for the last couple of days to encourage a friend who's going throught a difficult period of time right now, but did not manage to find the time or inspiration to do so. Only when I started to focus on God did these words that say that He cares for us come to mind. From there, I wrote the following.

He cares for you
He is never far away
Nail pierced hands
A thorn crowned brow
He's always thinking of you
His love shines bright
No matter the night
Think of Him
He is near

An island, one is not
Open doors, a corridor
Honest hearts, gave He does
Faithful and true
Always close

But perfect are we not
He is the One
Peace He gives
Your heart will receive
He cares for you
And never lets go
© Jonathan Chia 2007

I admit, it's been too long since I wrote any poetry. Getting really rusty at it. And kinda tired now as well. It's nearly 2am now and I got a 630am wake up call from my handphone's alarm clock.

"Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also." Matthew 6:20