Who Am I?

• A guy who's very emotional and sentimental
• A guy who can feel insecure and needs security in his life
• A guy who's tense and worries a lot
• A guy who wants to care for others before self and touch their lives
• A guy who's bad at judging and understanding character
• A guy who's too nice
• A guy who's too insensitive at times
• A guy who's simple-minded
• A guy who needs wisdom
• A guy who needs to pray more and focus on God more
• A guy who needs to work on his weaknesses and focus on his strengths
• A guy who can be selfish at times
• A guy who can be single-minded and stubborn
• A guy who plunges into things easily at times
• A guy who loves God and wants to understand and love Him more
• A guy who yearns for companionship and needs to be more patient
• A guy who wants to trust God more
• A guy who's a sucker for romance
• A guy who's trying to let God take control of his life
• A guy who plays the guitar, though not as good as some people say or think
• A guy who loves music, especially love songs and oldies
• A guy who's been a gamer all his life
• A guy who loves nature and scenary
• A guy who loves photography and shots of nature and natural expressions and abstract objects
• A guy who writes poetry and songs to express his thoughts and feelings
• A guy who loves rollerblading at the park
• A guy who loves anime, especially of a romance nature
• A guy who loves reading, especially comics and manga and christian books
  
• A guy who loves bowling though he's not good at it or bowls often
• A guy who loves gadgets and computer hardware though he can't afford them
• A guy who likes to sing even though he feels he sucks at it
• A guy who values honesty a lot in his life
• A guy who tries to take the interests of the people around him to heart
• A guy who needs to study harder in the upcoming school year
• A guy who's learning how to be a better soundman in church and serve God better
• A guy who needs to learn how to reach out to the unsaved souls around him
• A guy who tries to be humble and imitate Christ's humility
• A guy who tries to protect and care for the people he knows
• A guy who will lay his life down for his friends and family if needed
• A guy who gets down/depressed when things go wrong or when sick
• A guy who needs to be more positive in his thinking
  
• A guy who's a hopeless romantic
• A guy who needs to slow down and smell the roses once in a while
• A guy who can be proud at times
• A guy who loves to brisk walk when alone
• A guy who thinks too much at times
• A guy who can't live without people in his life
• A guy who's been a loner for half his life
• A guy who needs to be more disciplined in some areas of his life
• A guy who's gentle and soft
• A guy who has been disadvantaged before by others cos of his weaknesses
• A guy who needs peace and quiet once in a while
• A guy who needs to understand himself better before trying to understand others
• A guy who's trying to find out and know what love is
• A guy who tries to read the Bible everyday
• A guy who's trying not to let his emotions overwhelm and run his life
• A guy who needs to be molded by God
• A guy who's trying to find out God's will for his life
• A guy who needs to learn how to worship God better
• A guy who needs to build a better foundation in his spiritual life
• A guy who stutters in his speech and talks too fast
• A guy who's a chinese and sucks terribly in his mother tongue
• A guy who needs to be brutally honest with himself
• A guy who's suffering from gout and thus has a very restricted diet
• A guy who needs to communicate better with the people around him
• A guy who will lend a listening ear in times of need
• A guy who needs the strength and peace of God in his life
• A guy who dislikes smoking
• A guy who's against going to clubs/discos
• A guy who dislikes profanities even though he used a lot of it in his army days
• A guy who hates too much stress and heavy pressure
• A guy who dislikes constant nagging
• A guy who'd rather give in than argue and ruin things
• A guy who's spoilt a lot in his childhood days
• A guy who can be forgetful and absentminded
• A guy who's just trying to be himself
• A guy who simply can't hide his emotions
• A guy who sometimes takes things for granted
• A guy who's sort of a jack-of-all-trades and master of none.
• A guy who can be shy and quiet
  
• A guy, who's simply, just a guy known as Jonathan Chia

An attempt to understand myself better. Comments are welcome. Came up with this list after about 1½ hours of self-reflection and thinking at Delifrance Singpost center. Needed someplace quiet to have my dinner and think and self-reflect (thanks, Em, for the suggestion). After the events of the past week, and after the talk with Xm, felt this is something I had to do. If I can't understand myself better, there's no way I can even start to understand God or the people around me. Guess it's time to really allow God to mold me and live to glorify God. Re-reading "Boy Meets Girl", I came across this:

Living to glorify God means doing everything...
for Him,
His way,
to point to His greatness
and reflect His goodness

© Joshua Harris

I'm a very emotional person, as some of you readers know. And sometimes my emotions overwhelm me to the point of sorrow. When that happens, it brings me to my knees and I start to feel numb and start thinking about all the bad memories in my life. I have no wish for this thing to run my life anymore. Have to pray to surrender all my emotions to the Lord and let His will instead rule in my life. Have to start focusing on Him and work on the gifts He has given me. Only then, can I start to understand Him better, as well as understand the people around me better.

"But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well." Matthew 6:33