Should I or should I not..

Been asking myself, whether am I ready for what I hold inside. Whether it's God's will in this... situation. Been committing to Him for some time now, but still don't really have an answer. Thinking and praying about it many times throughout the day. Still asking myself whether it's God's will for this to come about, and if so, what is He trying to say to me, teach me. Will it come to something that I've wished for, or something else entirely? Hope to find out His plan for this soon, as time is more or less running out. Patience is still a virtue I'm lacking sometimes. Lend me wisdom, patience and understanding in this matter, Oh Lord. And let me never lose focus of You in my days.

"And we pray this in order that you may live a life worthy of the Lord and may please him in every way: bearing fruit in every good work, growing in the knowledge of God, being strengthened with all power according to his glorious might so that you may have great endurance and patience, and joyfully giving thanks to the Father, who has qualified you to share in the inheritance of the saints in the kingdom of light" Colossians 1:10-12